Emotional turmoil
I got dumped. My relationship is over. It is finally over and i have to learn to face reality. I actually thought that we're going to settle down. Heck, i even thought he was going to proposed during my birthday. The truth always hurt and i spent last weekend crying like a bitch. The last time i cried was when my maternal grandma passed away when i was 12.
Looking back, i might have been living in denial. I sorta knew that things were different and was not going well since October 2004. The telephone conversations were short, sometimes with both of us in silence. Time spent with friends were more important because his friends made him happier. We no longer went swimming together, instead he went climbing.
The reason given was because we grew apart. We no longer have things in common. Thas is still something that i do not comprehend. Our love has grown into a mature stage where things were kinda routine, we might have even taken each other for granted.
During all that time, i have always thought that i still lead my own life, that i maintained my sense of independence. Truth to be told, now that i'm single again, i have so much fear within myself. Simple things like who am i going to watch movie with? who will go jogging with me? who will take me to anywhere i want to go when my car is broken? who do i call every night and share about my bad day at work? who am i going to backpack with? who will be thinking of me every night before they go to bed? There're so many questions that are left unanswered.
He still wants to remain friends. I don't know how to react to that. I mean, he's still a wonderful guy, and if i cannot have him as a lover, i think i still want him as a friend. But i don't know how i would react if he started seeing someone else. If i accept him as a friend as i don't want to loose a friend as kind as him, am i in a way still hoping that things are going to work out between us again?
I'm in such an emotional turmoil. Pls help.
Looking back, i might have been living in denial. I sorta knew that things were different and was not going well since October 2004. The telephone conversations were short, sometimes with both of us in silence. Time spent with friends were more important because his friends made him happier. We no longer went swimming together, instead he went climbing.
The reason given was because we grew apart. We no longer have things in common. Thas is still something that i do not comprehend. Our love has grown into a mature stage where things were kinda routine, we might have even taken each other for granted.
During all that time, i have always thought that i still lead my own life, that i maintained my sense of independence. Truth to be told, now that i'm single again, i have so much fear within myself. Simple things like who am i going to watch movie with? who will go jogging with me? who will take me to anywhere i want to go when my car is broken? who do i call every night and share about my bad day at work? who am i going to backpack with? who will be thinking of me every night before they go to bed? There're so many questions that are left unanswered.
He still wants to remain friends. I don't know how to react to that. I mean, he's still a wonderful guy, and if i cannot have him as a lover, i think i still want him as a friend. But i don't know how i would react if he started seeing someone else. If i accept him as a friend as i don't want to loose a friend as kind as him, am i in a way still hoping that things are going to work out between us again?
I'm in such an emotional turmoil. Pls help.
posted by Mui Tow at 10:55 AM
1 Comments:
as the saying goes "time heals all wounds". give it some time to let reality sink in. for the moment, prioritize your goals or make new ones (eg. travel). and with time, slowly accept it and move on. i know it's tough at this stage and everything i say may seem BS right now. but i hope you know that there are people out there who love you and care about you. sharing your thoughts with close friends might not be a bad idea either.
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